I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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