Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
