Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
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