So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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