Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She bit a glass in half.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
