The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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