love makes seman taste better
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
