I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
ttyl tear gas
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
