laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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