i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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