The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm bleeding and have questions
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
