Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
