The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
