He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
