I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
