She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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