i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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