Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
