he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
