Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
how does that bad decision feel?
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