we have officially lost it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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