But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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