I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
