"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
