so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
