I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
