hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
