So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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