Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
