Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
