I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
