they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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