I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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