i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
