4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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