Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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