She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
and you fell through a lawn chair
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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