Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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