I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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