My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
