Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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