Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
