i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
