mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
