I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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