I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
