My first STD was from a foam party
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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