OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
