took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
