If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
